"Jesus Knows You're Here"
A burglar broke into a house one night.
He shined his flashlight around,
Looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
"Jesus knows you're here."
He nearly jumped out of his skin,
Clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more,
After a bit, he shook his head and
Just as he pulled the stereo out so
He could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he
Heard "Jesus is watching you."
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically,
Looking for the source of the voice.
Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight
Beam came to rest on a parrot.
"Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot.
"Yep", the parrot confessed, then squawked,
"I'm just trying to warn you that he is
The burglar relaxed. "Warn me,
Huh? Who in the world are you ?"
"Moses," replied the bird.
"Moses?" the burglar laughed.
"What kind of people would name a bird
"The kind of people that would name a
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The one with the giant teddy bear.... where on earth did this dog's human find such a large Snuggle teddy bear anyway? I bet it smells just like the fabric softener!
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It's just dawned on me....
My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.
He has his food prepared for him. He can eat whenever he wants.
His meals are provided at no cost to him.
He visits the Dr. once a year for his checkup, and again during the year if any medical
For this he pays nothing and nothing is required of him.
He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs and he is
not required to do any upkeep..
If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up.
He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.
He receives these accommodations absolutely free.
He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever..
All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.
I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick ........
OMG! I think my dog is a member of Parliament!
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